P and A

I hope that when you hear my name,

your mouth is flooded with the bitter taste of our tainted traumas.

And I hope

that every time you laugh-

you stop. because I am there, at the edges of your vision-

something you can’t reach and can’t leave.

I hope and I hope

 that remembering me,

is like walking through glass, sharp and painful.

Saying goodbye is not enough.

Letting go is not good enough.

When misery cakes the very earth you walk,

only then will I lose hope.

But misery is not universal and the earth bends not to my whims.

You are the poison and the antidote.

I will not lose hope and you will not cry:

A final goodbye